Chasing Sunrise

There's a new spot in my hometown that attracts people at evening to come. It's a new harbour to be. But i think it will be prettier if we come at dawn. So i decided to go at dawn. Chasing sunrise with my friends. And it never disappointing. Mariani is leaving to Malang very soon. So we should make the best of memories here.

 Bring spoon because we buy nasi kuning to have a breakfast there.

Friends since junior high. 

When Hang Out

With high school friends

Mild Sun

I spent my eid holiday with my favorite people.

Oke We are in a relationship.

Count the blessing

Lebaran 2018

With my sister Dila, si duta lingkungan haha

Lebaran hari 1 bersama my childhood friends, Astri and Anti

With my bloody friends Anis and Mariani

Mampir ke Mokko Donut factory karna kami penasaran. 

With Syabab and Dila

Ramadhan kali ini

Ah ini hari terakhir ramadhan
Dan aku tidak bisa berdoa seperti biasanya karena berhalangan.
Padahal inginku menghabiskan waktu curhat kepadaNya.

Ramadhan pertama tanpa mama.
Lebaran pertama tanpa mama.
Setiap kegiatan terasa berat tanpa mama.

Ramadhan kali ini membawa angin segar
Karena aku sedang berjuang menuju perubahan
Perubahan yang lebih baik
Ada keinginan besar dari dalam hatiku
Aku ingin diatur oleh Tuhanku
Aku ingin melibatkannya disetiap pergerakanku

Dialah sumber kekuatanku
Dialah tempatku berharap

Dan hatiku meyakini itu.
Bahwa aku sedang berjuang menuju perubahan.
Karena tahun-tahun sebelumnya aku tidak berjuang seperti ini.
Hingga pada suatu momentum luar biasa.
Aku meyakini setiap apapun yang terjadi
Ada campur tangan Tuhanku didalamnya.

Doakan saya semoga teguh, ya.
Bukannya mau sok religius.
Sungguh aku ingin berubah. Dan aku rela diatur oleh Penciptaku.

Dialah sumber kekuatanku.
Bulan ini adalah titik balikku.

As you think, so shall you become

"As you think, so shall you become"

I got this quote in 2015 from an oustanding horror movie "As Above So Below" (you should try to watch it, I give it 9/10).

The quote is really simple. Relevant to everyday live. Yet give a big impact to myself. Later that I know whether Bruce Lee create the quotes or one of a scholar name Dr. Wayne Dyer write it first or they both inspired by Buddha that said " The mind is everything. What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you inahine, you create." The more i read the quote, the more i feel the power behind the words.

The mind is everything. Our thoughts define who we are, shape the life we live and inspire the dreams we dream and create the realities we accomplish. The power of the human mind to affect behavior. 

For example : in this recent months, i try my best to see positivity of other persons despite their physical appearance, positivity of unsuccesful event despite the oustanding planning, positivity in every bad things happen. Believe me or not, the result is powerful. It changes the way I see things. It changes the way my brain process panic and disappointment. It makes me more calm and not exagerating towards happiness and disappointment.

Another example is my boyfriend. He is not an english speaker. Yet he wants to be one. He thinks everyday that English Grammar is an easy thing to learn (where in reality it is not), he put in his mind that he should be the one who is responsible for the study timeline, study habit, and acomplishment. Everyday he gets better and better. He become the speaker he wants to be.

On going example is : I believe someday I will study master in United Kingdom. I put it in my prayers. I think about it every single day. I prepare myself to worth the change. I work hard for it. When will I go? I still working on it. But sooner or later I will tell to the world that it is not because I am smart. It is because the power of mind.

Very simple example : you wanna loose weigh. Everybody says it is imposible. But at the end of the year you reach your dream body, you beat every damn stereotypes because you have your powerful mind that changes you to become a better person.

You can do what ever you want. But with the power of positive mind, you can do it better. 

I would write another examples for you. It better for you to watch the movie first. Seriously..haha. 😀

Talking

I need someone to talk to. I've talked to sister, I've talked to boyfriend, I've talk to dad, no one seems to be the one that I looking for.

It is true that a mom's presence is the best thing ever. She'll listen to me. Even if she didnt give any solution, I'll still feel better when I talk to the right person.

She is gone. And no one can replace. Right now, in most of my decisions, I take responsibility for every move. Even she is not physically here with me, but I know she still all around me. Protecting me.

After that moment, the more I think about my Mom, the more I agree about how big our God is. That I want to be always in the right path that lead me to Him. I am not a religious person. My mom did. I was a rebel.

At this point, I always seek power from Him.  Is this a turning point? Of course. How can someone not change after a serious moment
happen in his/her live. It just: many don't see. Because only me had ever experience it.

I tend to avoid talking about my mom in between friends, because I wanna be cheerful and enjoy the moment. Once you bring the topic, can not lie, I'll be sad instantly.

Hey, of course, I'm also a human.
I need someone to talk to.
To tell that in this happy smile, I hide a deep sadness. But I choose not to because that's too pathetic. Why should I drag, say my boyfriend, to this sadness. Let me be this weak for a while

.