Scared

A quote says " If your dream don't make you scared, that means your dream is not big enough."
Chevening will always be my dream. Whenever I think about it i got goosebumps, my heart beat fast, and I feel like a motivational music started to play in my ears. It is so ridiculous because i never apply, not even a delegate, just an ordinary human who wants it so much.

I was in the third grader in elementary school when i first know that there is a place in this world called United Kingdom. At that time I dont know that United Kingdom was a country that consist of many other countries. What I know that time was I have to go to United Kingdom someday in my live because I need to meet Harry Potter in real life. I want to experience how is it look like to live with British accent (at that age thanks to harry potter because i first understand british accent rather than american accent, which later in my junior high i got compliment in class because no one really understadn british accent as well as i did well for most of my friends to understand British accent you must understand american accent).

Yeah it is true that Harry potter fantasy has inspired many kids my age including me. That kind of magical book brings bigger impact to my life (thanks to my mum). The more i think about united kingdom, the more i want to go there. Many people don't rely on their dreams anymore because they dont care anymore about it. But for me, the older i get the more i want to reach it which means the more i scared of it.

When thinking about it, I'm so scared not because of the possibility of not being able to go to UK anytime before i die. What makes me afraid is when i woke up someday and have no interest about it anymore. That's what make me afraid. Third grader me cried in the playing mat as asking god to make my dream to go to uk come true. Now, I'm still crying whenever i imagine taking my step in UK.