Without warning, I found myself hurt pretty badly at the beginning of this year.
I did not realize I could cry so intensely for a few days straight, months actually. And even after that, I cried some more still. I wish it was a dream and somebody will wake me up. It break my heart and it was so sad more than the grief I experience when my mom passed away. One thing I know is that I would never wish it to happen to anyone. But if it does, I hope they get the help they would need to get through it
I have split myself too thin: I don't care about anything anymore, I am not as excited as I used to be. I gave up my biggest dream, i realize that was so not me but I barely had anything left to offer. I ended up abandoning my job completely. I am not excited about life anymore.
All the happy things in me are fake, I know it fake. I avoid small talks now, I try my best not to talk to anybody. Nobody know how hurt I am even if I tell them nobody understand. And I don't want to tell anyone either about anything that happened to me.
The excitement I always had when I saw my favorite person in the world, my one and the only person i could trust, my everything - is not there anymore. I don't know what else could make me excited. It just change the way I see things and life.
I don't have any happy things to share, I just stick to the routine to continue life.
I lost my self.
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